Back to the Blog

After months of going silent...I am back!!! I would blog on my website (see previous post) but I don't remember my passowrd :/ Anyway, so here I am. I can't tell you how many posts I have written only to delete them. It has been like therapy though -- but you know what, I should probably press "post" - I have been thinking lots about the kids and wanting them to remember me now...if that makes sense. So, I figure a blog that captures my thoughts, feelings, our memories, etc would serve them well in the future. One of the things I recently blogged about (and then deleted) was this internal struggle to be a super successful career woman, and yet to be an awesome, engaged, involved SAMH type (without being a SAHM). I don't even know how to retype it all, but basically the jist was, how do I get over the guilt with career when I leave the office eaerly, or work from home to attend a kid activity, or to simply be in my own home with my kids because I miss them? And on the flip side, how to I get over the guilt of kids when I have a late meeting and I know they are in childcare for 10+ hours or haven't seen me in 2+ days? *sigh* I guess my real confession is...I don't feel guilty for either one (most of the time). It is what it is, right? I'm not jipping anyone - I truly value my carrer, my job, etc, and do my damnest while I'm working. And same with parenting. I love my kids more than...well you know if you are a parent how you love them so much it is indescribable? Yeah, that. And just because I want career success, it doesn't mean I am any less available, engaged, in-love, or what-have-you with my kids, right? I guess I can feel the way I do, the true question will be - what will my kids think or feel when they look back? And THAT, my friends, is why I am blogging again. So they know where their crazy mama was coming from all these young years of their life.

My New Website

For my 30th birthday Ted bought me a website www.runcathy.com You can follow me there -- if you are interested. ;) I'll probably be shutting this one down and marking it as private and keeping my new website open to the world wide web. it will probably remain a little lame for a while until I get into a groove of updating, posting pictures, and figuring out how I want to use it. if u ever stop by it, leave me a comment :) adios!

Day 3 and 4

My iPad died last night before I could post.

Gratitude journal Day 3, things we are thankful for:

Truett said his three things were mommy, daddy, Mila.

for Tuesday mine were: meetings at work going smoothly, driving to and from work safely, and crockpots.

Wednesday--

Truett's reply tonight was "BABABABA". He is obviously in a silly mood.

This Wednesday I am thankful for chocolate, email, and Toy Story 3.

:)

2

I haven't forgotten. Day two of the gratitude journal. Today I'm extra grateful for:

1. Sunshine.
2. My sweet, wild, beautiful, soft, strong, loving, baby girl's personality. She's a smartie, a firecracker, a little lover, a bookworm, a talker, an eater, a mama (loves her babies dolls), a dancer, a ham....she's the best.
3. My boy. My first born, my sweet pea, my crazy 3 year old, my stubborn, testing, silly, goofy, hugging, curious, handsome little dude.

Entry #1

1. The beautiful, sunny weather today. It was warm enough to run in a tank, and then cool enough to wear a light sweater in the evening. Just gorgeous.

2. Good friends. I love that we spontaneously ended up at our friends for backyard family fun.

3. My new, freshly paint walls. They are about 2 months old now but I love them. Just fresh, crisp, and clean feeling.

Truett told me his 3 things tonight (no prompting by me):
1. God
2. Mommy
3. Three (?)

Gratitude Journal

For the next 30 days ( and longer, if I can keep this up), I'm going to post three things I'm grateful for at the end of each day. I took the kids to church this morning and the service was about envy and greed. I mean, who isn't envious or greedy this day in age? I know I'm guilty. I love this idea he suggested, of keeping a gratitude journal to focus on those things. And plus, I thought it will be something fun to do with the kids, too So, if I can remember I'll post my 3 things and then sit with Truettt and Mila before bed and let them list their three things (I'm sure Tru will do all the dictating for him and Mila ;)

I think the most difficult part is going to be listing only three things. And I'll try not to repeat anything over the next month.

Here goes!

Good grief

Oh boy - today was a challenge!!! It was my hardest day of parenting thus far.

My little three year old man tested every limit. I'm not proud of how our day went, but at the end of the day I got to tell him the "chocolate boy" story and smother him in kisses, so it's all good now :) I'd be lying though if I didn't say I'm already anxious about tomorrow. Finger crossed for a better day, and he is being shipped off to preschool anyway. :P

It was just one fit after another. I'm not kidding! My throat is even sore :( I am not a yeller, but yes, my throat hurts. I'll let you guess why. I seriously almost turned into a crazy person today, lol, and I'm pretty sure I said that 100 times, "you are making me crazy, True!!!"

Funny/not so funny quote of the day though, "Fine! Let's go in Target and find you a new mommy, one that will be nice to you." At least that got him quiet pretty quickly. ;) And it was a joke...promise...